Reviewlett #3

So Noah, or as I like to call it Raiders of the God Arc, came out just before Easter and I saw it on Easter.  So, it’s probably a little late to do this review then but God help me I got caught up in other things... sorry! 

So, for those of you who don’t know the story, Noah is about his guy called Noah who’s the only descendant to Cain and Abel’s brother, (Steve, or Stan... It began with an “S”), and lives in a world filled with the super evil descendants of Abel, who killed Cain because... well that wasn’t explained...

Anyway! Noah’s with his wife, supposedly a descendant of Abel but we don’t hold that against her, and his three young sons when he has some freaky dreams about blood and fire and a hell of a lot of water. At first he’s all like, “Er, what’s that now God?” because, let’s face it, God could have been a little clearer with his messages... but eventually Noah realises what God’s saying and it’s something along the lines of “Noah, people really suck,” which most of us know now anyway, “and I think I might just flood the world and start again.” So, Noah agrees with God (because he’s God) and makes an arc (the big boat kind not the Nazi­-face-melting kind) to save two of every animal- because God giving them each their own personal air bubble would just be too easy and he likes his creations to work for survival.

Anyway, surprisingly the other humans aren't too keen on God’s big plan and try to selfishly save themselves from the global super-flood and Noah, whose also gladiator and Robin Hood, uses his kung fu skills to stop them. Plus he has an army of big rocky angels. Plus he explains God creating the world with handy evolution themed slides. Plus he glosses over the whole thing about how three brothers, like his sons, managed procreate without a woman around... Other than their mum... Oh dear... Poor Eve.